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Released: January 2014
ISBN: 9781310037856
ASIN: B00HZH5A7O
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MY GRANDFATHER'S PANTS
Author: Tegon Maus
Length: Novel
Genre: Paranormal Fiction
Price: $3.99

Jack Laskin is an ordinary man. More than ordinary according to some. Running the family hardware store and a life that would bore a snail, nothing exciting ever seems to happen to him.

Then, at his mother’s urging, he tries on a pair of his late grandfather's old pants and everything changes -- most importantly his emerging love life. It's not long before his mother and her meddling friends get involved.

When an old friend of his grandfather’s tells Jack he has something she wants, his new-found life takes another turn. Having no idea what he is supposed to have, Jack looks to his girlfriend, Connie, and her brother, Robert, for help.

In the end, the answers will all be found in his Grandfather’s Pants.

Excerpt
"Mom, I really don't want them."

It was always the same. Even now that I was well over thirty, she spoke to me as if I were still ten. Once she started down that track there was no turning around the train. It was best to allow her to run her course, always straight ahead, full bore, and the world be damned.

"No one wore them after Henry. Not really. Your father tried them on once...just the once for a moment or so and he knew," she said softly.

Folding them over her arm, she stroked them gently as if lost in some personal memory.

"Mom," I protested half-heartedly.

"Just take them, Jack. If you don't feel you're ready, if you decide you don't want them...save them for someone who will," she said, pushing them into my hands.

I held the pants for a moment, trying to ignore the tears welling in her eyes.

"They look like they might fit," I offered cheerfully, holding them out in front of me. A light beige gabardine, nice for their time but obviously dated, the cut and lines were all wrong for today's fashion. "Connie will be back this weekend and I want to put my best foot forward."

I wanted to change the subject, to get her on a different track. The only other two she traveled with any regularity since dad died was my search for a wife and then, with that accomplished, children.

"They will, trust me. If they fit anyone, it will be you." She ran a sentimental hand over the belt loops. "Promise me you’ll wear them this Friday."

As she spoke, I spotted my escape from this unwanted, thirty year old, hand-me-down: a small repair in the left leg, just above the knee. Repaired with a thread of exact color, the patch seemed to run against the grain of the material, making that spot rough to the touch.

"Ah, look. What a shame. There's a hole," I said, turning them to show her.

"Used to be a hole. That's where Grandpa Henry was shot," she absentmindedly fingered the mend.

"Shot?" I exclaimed, dropping them. "Why haven't I heard about this before?"

"You would have to know Henry. He never liked to talk about himself."

"He's been dead for nearly fifteen years, and it's never come up before now?"

"Force of habit, I suppose. I thought you knew."

"So, tell me now," I said, sitting on the couch.

"To hear Henry tell it, it was nothing really. Before the hardware store your grandfather worked as a mechanic. He was on duty at the station late on a Saturday afternoon. The night guy called in sick and asked Henry to pick up his shift. Shortly after dark, a man showed up with a gun, forcing Henry to surrender the money.

In those days a cashbox sat next to the pumps. Everything was full service. People were more honest, not like now."

"Mom, please."

"It used to be nice. People were happy to be of service. That's all I'm saying."

"Mom." I sighed.

"The little bastard took the money from the island and then put the gun in Henry's back and told him to open the office so he could get to the safe. When Henry opened the door he went through first and slammed the door closed on the robber's hand.

"Well, the gun went off, hitting your grandfather in the leg. It made him so angry, he threw the door open, took the gun from the man and beat him within an inch of his life.

"The police, the fire department, and an ambulance came. Henry made them all wait while he continued to pump gas, check oil, and wash car windows because he was still on duty. He let them treat him between customers, saying it was his responsibility, refusing to close the station until someone came to take the keys.

"The police threatened to arrest him if he didn't cooperate but eventually even they relented. Soon they were pumping gas and washing windows for him so the medics could do their job."

"That's crazy. He was shot, a bullet in his leg, and bleeding and he refused to stop pumping gas because it was his job? Mom, that's nuts."

"That was your dad's dad," she patted my knee as she stood.

"That's why he limped?"

"Yes, it is. You're a lot like him, Jack. More than you know. Wear them on Friday, for me. Connie Johnson will appreciate them," she offered before closing the door.

For a moment, the silence that filled my house was laden with guilt. Mom was good at that. All women are, I guess.

What the reviewers are saying
HELP! I am Rolling On The Floor Laughing! . . . I have not laughed so much, even “Bob”* wasn’t this funny! . . . Tegon handles so much of the craft well, he moves the story along perfectly with lots of action and dialogue. He preserves POV quite nicely as well, the lack of proper POV is one of my pet peeves . . . Maybe Bob has the belt that goes with the pants! ~ Word Refiner blog

• • •

My Grandfather's Pants is a funny and surprising novel. An enjoyable combination of fantasy and suspense with a touch of romance. The protagonist, Jack is a likeable old soul thrown into a bizarre situation, and the way he handles the bizarre challenges he faces will keep you guessing . . . and laughing. Pick up this book if you want to take a ride on this rollicking rollercoaster. You won't be disappointed! ~ 22will, B&N Nook

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SO SO Funny and Sweet
This was a great story and romantic comedy . . . It was paced well and not to wordy. It seemed like it could be possible. It was very readable and enjoyable. I think everyone would love it The humor was fantastic and the story line was very good. I would read it again. ~ Reader, Amazon

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Wickedly funny!
There is no shortage of fun and laughter in this wonderful novel. I would recommend it to anyone interested in romance, comedy, or mystery, with a little fantasy thrown in for good measure. ~ Belinda Wilson, Amazon

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Witty
What an unexpected treat! The concept of this story was very imaginative and he really delivered in the execution. It was witty and I found myself laughing out loud at certain parts. On the other hand, it had a great deal of action and kept me on my toes. ~ A Life Through Books, Amazon

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Intriguing
Unusual story about a pair of pants that changes the men who wear them. I found it different from the norm and sometimes even funny. Check it out for yourself! ~ D. Beltran, Amazon

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This book has a little bit of everything in it, making it a great read for everyone. It contains elements of intrigue, romance, fantasy, mystery, and it is wickedly funny . . . The plot gets thicker and more twisted as the tale goes on.~ Belinda, blog

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Brilliantly written and a test of one's affections
Author Maus will deeply make you feel the inner struggles of Jack between Connie and Gabriel. Discover if he will follow in the same footsteps as his grandfather and dad or break free and devote himself to one. Though you can physically get rid of grandfather's pants, it may take a bit more courage to shake off propensities that easily desire to ensnare. It reminded me fully that we are what we think and perhaps our "thinking" needs a little refining . . . Not only do I recommend this book as it is 5 star quality, but too do I recommend Author Maus fantastic science fiction delights. An Author with hopefully many more works on the horizon, I rate his creativity to be extremely high. ~ Valerie Caraotta, Amazon

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Pick up this book if you want to take a ride on a saucy, madcap rollercoaster
My Grandfather's Pants is a funny and surprising novel. An enjoyable combination of fantasy and suspense with a touch of romance. The protagonist, Jack is a likeable old soul thrown into a bizarre situation, and the way he handles the bizarre challenges he faces will keep you guessing . . . and laughing. Pick up this book if you want to take a ride on this rollicking rollercoaster. You won't be disappointed! ~ Joseph N. Sidari, Amazon

• • •

I was definitely not expecting to laugh as often as I did while reading My Grandfather’s Pants. Mr. Maus has a fantastic sense of humour that translates extremely well to the written word. He is adept at teasing out the funny side of even the most serious or mundane parts of daily life. It was especially entertaining to see how he plays around with a wide range of assumptions most of us make about certain groups of people in order to keep his readers on their toes . . . My Grandfather’s Pants is a great choice for anyone in the mood for something quirky and original. This is the kind of book that begs to be read more than once. I, for one, will be revisiting it quite soon! ~ Astilbe, Long and Short Reviews

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Great fun to read
This story is fantastic! It is totally different to anything I have read before. As the storyline unfolds, it is sexy, humorous and very entertaining – absolutely brilliant! ~ Susan Keefe, Amazon

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A rollicking adventure. I laughed and laughed as poor Jack learns to be careful what he asks for as he just might get it--every man's fantasy of being pursued by a slew of women. Tegon Maus is an amazing writer. You won't want to put the book down once you start it. ~ Terri Valentine, Amazon

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My Grandfather's Pants is a lovely, heart-warming read. It's full of so many things going on that it's hard to classify its true place within a single genre. This story will make you chuckle. It will make you sigh. It will also keep you turning pages as the suspense builds to see what will happen next. There's romance, too. And the grandfather's magical pants. My Grandfather's Pants a fabulous read. Tegon tells a wholly believable tale which plays on most of the emotions. At the very heart of it, this is a family story and shares the importance of family history. I say 'well done, Tegon.' ~ Heart of Fiction

 

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